2019-07-02
Key Note, Joelle 「Devotional Essay」
"Abound To You“
The depth and the width of my heart is both narrow and wide.
I try to roll around on the floor. I can’t tell how wide the space is. I lay on the floor and stretch out my left arm to roll toward the fingertips and stand up again to take a step toward where the right foot is headed. One day I find a narrow gap and look around to get out of it. I push myself in little by little struggling to escape but soon find myself stuck in between not knowing what to do. I barely break through the gap and return back to my place and look around and there is no end in sight.
Is it this wide?
When I thought of myself, I put limits and boundaries. I would set up a point and tell myself “up to this point” I can handle it or I can accept it. Is it so? Did I? Is it true that the father’s plan is up to here since I don’t know how to measure the scale of what I can’t see?
Ever since when, the plans that I came up with were limited to what I can handle. If I overcome the bridle of life in the present, there might be better things in the future. The thought stops me. All of sudden the memories of past when I was stuck between the gap restrains me. The things that I have asked for doesn’t seem right. Instead of seeking for his kingdom, my eyes desire for the world and the guilty feeling stops me. Since I can not pray or follow the Words, I put up the fence and hide myself in it.
As I remind again of the Father’s love and how his grace fulfills us, it
is only His words that will cover and encompass everything.
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